TMI: "I've had a weird week and can't pick just one thing"-edition
Here goes the list:
*After getting out of the shower I accidentally dropped my shower cap INTO the toilet. How does that even happen? Took me 10 seconds to decide its trash-destined fate.
(I don't know why it took so long.)
*When we were checking out at the grocery store, my kids were happily sitting in the "car-cart" (you know what I'm talking about, right?) As Sunshine slowly rode by the checker,
he reached out
pinched her bum.
She totally jumped and made a weird "surprised" noise
Me=HORRIFIED! Sunshine=Inappropriate giggles.
I quickly apologized.
She decided to ignore the pinch and my apology like it never happened.
This made me turn bright red and fumble around like an idiot.
She refused eye-contact.
*While shaving my legs I cut myself a huge gash on the weird side/back of my ankle.... like an 11 year old girl who's never shaved her legs. It bleed like crazy. My shower looked like a crime scene.
*While going to the bathroom, my audience included the Bird.
After you have kids you will never go to the bathroom alone again, ever. Get over it.
The Bird is pulling TP off the roll and I was trying to stop her. She pretends to blow her nose. I take her momentary lapse of attention to my bathroom use to quickly wipe and finish (just deal with it, guys. Everyone wipes!) In a very unsettling discovery, I realize the Bird trying to help me complete my wiping task. I jump about 7 feet in the air, squawking like a crow.
*Yesterday morning it snowed about 65 feet (approximately). After I dropped Sunshine off at school my car got stuck in the snow. Four adults come to my aid. Three of these adults, all the same gender, go right to the back of my car and start pushing. The fourth, the opposite gender, comes to my window and we have the following conversation:
Person-Who-Thinks-I'm-Stupid: Do you have the car in 4wheel drive?
Me: No, it's not 4wheel drive.
Person-Who-Thinks-I'm-Stupid: Go ahead and put it in 4wheel drive.
Me: This car is not 4wheel drive.
Person-Who-Thinks-I'm-Stupid: (Condescending tone)Do you know how to turn on the 4wheel drive?
Me: This car is not 4wheel drive.
Person-Who-Thinks-I'm-Stupid: Wait, this car isn't 4wheel drive?
Me: Uh, no. It is not 4wheel drive.
Person-Who-Thinks-I'm-Stupid: Oh. I'll just go push then.
Can you guess which group was male and which was female???
*While telling the previous story to the Mister I was giggling so much he couldn't understand me. When I finally got it out, the story was no longer funny.
*Recently at a social function, I felt slightly uncomfortable, sort of like the "odd-man-out". Out of awkward nervousness, I kept making jokes.
That were not funny.
I couldn't stop.
It was awful.
*Ever since starting TMI Tuesday, my friends, family, and acquaintances have increased the number of TMI stories they tell me...
I never know if they are hoping their story appears on my blog or if they inexplicably just want to share with me. So far I haven't shared any of them unless they directly express their wish to be featured.
What do you guys think? Fair game???
*This morning I burned the bacon.
I kept checking over my shoulder, expecting Mrs. Dursley was going to chew me out.
Then I remembered she doesn't live with me.
And I am not an 11-year-old boy.
And she is also a fictional character....