Tuesday, November 27, 2012

TMI Tuesday #8

Today I thought I'd share a little thing I wrote for my creative writing class last semester


Stickers, Marshmallows, Erections and Other Three Year Old Boy Things. 

            It’s been a long time coming. I wanted to ignore it. But it came and went. My son’s third birthday.  My son who still has his diaper bulging through his pants, with friends who have long since potty-trained.  He was ready to ditch that diaper and put on his Buzz Light Year undies and face this big new world. He was ready to embark on the grand adventurous ride of the plastic dinosaur potty we had stashed in the bathroom closet. He was ready to spend a week sucking down CapriSuns, munching on fishy crackers, slurping down otter pops, eyes glued on Dora the Explorer 6am-6pm, all the while that plastic dinosaur potty looming in the peripheral.  My son, he was ready, but I was not. 
Day one:
            Commence crying fits and power struggles. By the end of the day we have achieved half of a pee that actually made it to the potty.  All else soaked the undies, creating a lot of laundry.  When it was discovered that Lightning McQueen’s face would never be legible again, that pair went straight to the trash. The before mentioned half a pee started a dance revolution throughout the household so energetic and excited that my son peed his pants.  How is that not a step backward?
            Note to self: encourage less jumping during the pee-pee celebration dance.

Day two:
             My son has discovered something just so hilarious about his penis. If he flexes his muscles a certain way…

            “Look, mommy! Dancing penis!”

After a few gleeful moments of this bopping dance, my son discovers something even more wonderful than before.

            “Look, mommy! Big penis!”
Reminder to self: Your son gets erections. He is just a little kid but it happens. In fact, it’s happened since he was 10 months old.  It’s biology, he can’t help it! Until now….
            Note to self: Try not to die of embarrassment when your neighbor comes over to borrow an egg and your son answers the door completely naked, erected penis spotlighted in the sun.  Just try….

Day three:
            Words have erupted from my mouth that have never been strung together before. 
            “Yay pee-pee! Pee-pee in the potty! Yay! Okay, go wash your hands, get a marshmallow and put a sticker on the potty sheet!”
We continue with the pee-pee song and dance which is portrayed as a naked march through the living room to words sung out in a rhythmic procession “Pee-pee in the potty, Pee-pee in the potty, Pee-pee in the potty!” Here I should note that my son is naked, not me.
            Note to self: You can’t have an ego and be a sufficient parent.  Learn to accept this fact. 
Day four:
            This is when I notice my son hasn’t pooped since day one.  I get worried. I start to follow him around.  I refuse to leave him alone for one second afraid he will ruin the multiple Wall-e’s printed across his butt. 

            “Diaper, mommy?”

            “Nope, you have to go poo-poo in the potty. No diapers, sorry kiddo”

            My phone rings. I chance a moment away, just a small moment...  Several days of salty snacks and sugary drinks creates a perfect urine recipe.  I have discovered this same recipe plays with the intestines and bowels in ways I had not known previously existed. 
            Note to self: Start saving to get the carpets professionally cleaned. Also, buy more underwear. 

Day seven:
            He’s graduated from the dinosaur potty to the actual toilet.  I exhale relief as I stash that potty away.  That potty grosses me out.  Flushable pee has brought new light to my previously yellow world.  And my son has honed his listening skills and knows when his body needs the facilities.

            “Diaper, mommy?”

            “C’mon, love. Please, just go poo-poo in the potty. It’s been days! You can do it. I’ll give you three marshmallows and triple stickers.” 

            20 full minutes of crying and threats later…

            “Look, mommy! Poo-poo in the potty! Poo-poo snake!”

Raucous dance celebration ensues. 
            Note to self: It’s okay for fecal matter to make you happier than you ever remember feeling… right?

            End of week one. 
# of retired pairs of undies-5
# of sticker sheets used-3
# of mini-marshmallow bags- 2
Price for carpet cleaners- $120
# of potty-trained 3 year olds in our home- 1
# of ecstatic pee-pee pleased parents- 2

Initiate celebration dance.


Friday, November 23, 2012

perfect Hot Rod Pocket... Ka-Chow!!!

Having Black-Friday Blues???
Yeah, me too. 
I am not a black Friday shopper. 
I'd rather stay home, avoid the crowds and eat pie.
Actually, that's what I want to do every day...

How about a little ditty of a sewing project??

Get Ready for the...
Hot Rod Pocket


Do you see Sunshine's tongue positioned for concentration?
Ah! Perfection!
He loves it!
 I whipped a couple of these up for birthday presents for Some parties Sunshine was invited to attend. 
I think his friends liked 'em. Plus I threw in a package of Hot Wheels. 
You can never go wrong with Hot Wheels. 

Wanna learn??

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

TMI Tuesday #7

Oh TMI. I love you. 

In honor of this Holiday week, I thought I'd share a little story along the lines of  

TMI: Awkward Family Moments Edition

Okay. My friend was telling me the following story:

My Grandparents were in town for some holiday when I was in High School. They were sleeping in my room, in my bed.  I needed something and thought they were asleep. I quietly snuck in. To my horror, they were NOT asleep. They were having some let's just say...alone time. hem hem... 
I darted to the bathroom and hid in there for a good hour.  When I finally got the courage to come out, they had packed their bags and left. Gone! Not just for a walk, their vacation was over. 
Good-bye Grandma and Grandpa! 
It was a while before they came back.

Thanks for the TMI story, my dear friend!! 


Friday, November 16, 2012

Some Good Ol' Home Cooking: Easy Meatloaf

Ready to try some easy yummy meatloaf? 
It's perfect for these cold winter days.
Plus it's super easy!


Okay here's what you need:

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

TMI Tuesday #6

Happy Veteran's Day! (Yesterday or even the day before)

My hubby is in the military so we happily enjoyed some of the special deals yesterday. 
We strolled into Wingers for dinner at 50% off

 except for the fact that Wingers has gotten all weird now. They have a new menu and new name, "Wingers Roadhouse Grill" um lame. And they say their new amazing burgers are so fabulous they take 30 minutes to cook but my friend's took over an hour plus they got the order wrong.And it wasn't very good. And they ripped all the fun chicken joke signs off the walls. I guess they are going for a more fancy-classy-nontacky look.......

But they still have popcorn...so.....

Moving on! 
While we were munching through our meal the hubby received the following text from a friend who was sitting with his family across the room from us...

"I just found a bra under the table. Yes an actual black Victoria's Secret bra." 

This was made all the more ironic in combination with Wingers new motto as a restaurant and business.  Which, by the way, was stated on a laminated flyer on each table. 

Oh! The irony!!!


Tuesday, November 6, 2012

TMI Tuesday #5

This week (I'm so excited!!) we have 
from a

This reader decided to remain 
which is totally fine and perfect.

The email reads:

 One morning in Sunday School, a young lady came to sit next to me. She was wearing a knit dress with a rather short skirt. As she turned to sit, her bum was towards me. I happened to look just as she bent over and got a 
Unfortunately, the shortness of the skirt combined with the lack of underwear gave me much more than I'd ever hoped to see ever ever EVER. I wish there was one of those emergency eye wash stations in the room because I wanted that image out of my mind forever. I doubt the poor young man sitting on my other side (a missionary nonetheless!) who also happened to be looking her direction will ever recover. Also, I wonder how the cold metal chair must have felt on her backside. And I don't even want to think about any future uses of that chair. Let's hope a small child never decides to use it as a place to spread out a snack!

 Oh my goodness, Anonymous! 
Your poor eyes! 
And can you say,

Remember, everyone, 
Commando is not the way to go!

 Thanks again, Anonymous! 


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Saturday, November 3, 2012

$2 Jeans Fix-Up!

Today's post features

Sunshine has been in dire need of jeans. 

And I am convinced that denim is grossly over-priced for kids. 

So we use a lot of hand-me-downs and thrift-ed clothes. 

I got this pair of adjustable waist jeans for 


But they were way way too long and had a bit of a hole. 

Let's fix these up!