Recent Conversation with an Unnamed Friend:
Friend: I don’t like standing up for songs at church.
Me: Uh, why not?
Friend: Because all I see are butts. I can’t stop looking at all the butts. And checking them out. I always check out butts. “Big butt. Small butt. Bouncing butt. Firm butt. Butt, butt, butt” I’m just a total perv.
Me: Nah girl, I do it too.