Unintentional Prom Hair

So having longish hair and all like I do, 

I try to avoid washing it daily

But...

My hair gets really dirty looking after less than 24 hours..

Ponytails get boring so I try to spice it up. 

This morning I started hair-pinning and twisting away and ended up looking like I was headed to prom. 

Whoops... 

inspiration...

Yep. Prom hair.

PS- It's really hard to get a picture of the back of my head. I took the following in the bathroom at the library. 

So tacky, right?

I was like, soooo over dressed for the preschool story time at our local library.  

HAH!

All I was missing was my wrist corsage... 

TMI Tuesday #36-"Picky Eater"

TMI Tuesday: "Things kids say"-edition

It is a submit, ya'll!!

Love a good submit :) 

Friend my good friend, Sarah 

Take it away!!

 

So I have a TMI for ya. 

I made the kids egg salad sandwiches for lunch because Journey loves them. Well Jaxon isn't such a big fan but that's what I made so that's what you eat. We all sat down at the table to eat and like most meals the protest began. Journey like always just ate and was a good girl but Jaxon needed some convincing. I gave him the normal this is good for you and will make you big and strong. He continued to protest so I informed him that because sissy is eating well she will be big and strong and you won't. Well this got him to take a few bites and he soon learned he liked it. After eating a little more he looks at me flexes he arm muscles and says 

"Mommy, this is making my penis bigger!"

..... umm yeah.... 

I had to get up and walk away. The things kids say. 

Thanks for the TMI Jaxon!

 OH! MY! GOSH! I think every mom of sons can agree... this has happened to all of us!

Thanks again, Sarah!!

Don't forget my friends, I am always accepting TMI stories

Email, text, message on facebook, tell me in person, anything! 

Just let me know if you want to remain anonymous or to change names etc. 

TMI Tuesday #35- I used to be brave sometimes

After I graduated from high school, I had some months before I went off to college

I needed a project 

So my mom let me paint and redecorate 

2 bathrooms and 2 bedrooms 

Amazing right? 

That was 7 years ago and she still has a few things left over. 

This one bathroom cracks me up because I didn't even stencil this or use a pencil first

I just did it. 

I wouldn't be able to do that anymore! 

Oh the brave personality of an 18 year old!! 

Here is a picture for you to enjoy.

Please laugh, I always do!!!

TMI Tuesday #34-"Whaaaa???"

TMI Tuesday:

"What does that say???"-edition

Some months ago I was driving when I saw a car with a sticker that made no sense to me at first...

The reference was pretty obscure, 

I think, 

and did not merit an entire back window car sticker of its own. 

I'd be interested in what you think:

"I drive like a Cullen" 

(Sorry, poor quality)

"Whaaaaa???"-Me

It took me a looooong time to process what it meant

 I was hardly able to capture this picture.

I've read Twilight. 

Tried to like it. 

Pretending to love it 

(so I could participate when women at church and my sisters gushed about it)

But I have come to terms with it and am totally okay with saying the following:

"Twilight is laaaaaaaaaame" 

(I won't even get into how terrible I think it is for young impressionable girls to read because I think the message it teaches is damaging)

And I am all about being a fanatic...

Have you seen my phone case?

Or my Pinterest board?

http://www.pinterest.com/starrsm/i-m-a-nerd-deal/

Fandoms I nurture:

Doctor Who

Harry Potter

Sherlock

LOTR

Disneyland

Phineas and Ferb (I know, it is Disney but deserves its own line)

Princesses

Anything Disney really

Psych

The IT Crowd (that is a new one!!)

HIMYM

Mad Men

Downton

Etc. Etc. Etc. 

I am a book worm and a Netflix-Nerd and a DisneyDork

and a proud Twilight-despiser

Um...TMI???

TMI Tuesday #33- "Awkward!" (It's a reader submit!)

 A TMI story from out in the WILD

I LOVE IT!

"Hey Lady!!

I am so proud to announce that I have my very own TMI Tuesday that I want to submit! Here goes.....

On Saturday I went to Davids Bridal with my daughter Kenzie and my friend Becca because I needed not 1 but 2 bridesmaid dresses! SO the three of us cram into a dressing room and I start taking my pants off when all the sudden I hear a very timid/confused/scared voice coming from behind me....

Kenzie: Uhmmmmm Mommy?

Me: Yes Kenzie...what's up?

Kenzie: Uhmmm I think you need to like uhmmm ask Daddy if you can buy some new panties.

Me: (Confused) Why? Whats wrong with my panties? 

Kenzie:  Well it's just that they are uhmmmm I think a little bit too small....they are like in your BUTT CHEEKS!

Me:  (Horrified...because I just realized that I am wearing a thong and how do you explain that to a four year old?) You know what baby...your right, I promise I will buy some panties that fit me very soon!

Becca:  (Literally in the fetal position on the dressing room floor trying not to pee her pants or let my tiny human know that she is laughing)

Kenzie:  Mommy it's just a big wedgie and I don't like wedgies!

AWKWARD!

LOVE

Kendra"

TMI Tuesday #32-"Bug Off"

So the Mister is gone playing Army out in the Idaho desert somewhere. 

And he sent me this text....

"I'm sitting on a porta-potty right now. 

There are a bunch of flies at the bottom and they keep flying up and landing on my butt. 

I can't like it."

Um.... TMI!!!

TMI Tuesday #31-"Pick me!!"

TMI Tuesday: "I deserve to be embarrassed by how long it has been since I posted"-edition

Firstly, anyone who is still hanging around my pathetic blog...You are amazing! I swear I am going to get it together... I really actually have legit reasons for my 13 week hiatus. 

13 weeks!?! 

have you guys been surviving? 

I just scraped by....

I'll hit the highlights:

The Mister is in the military and was gone for three months (3 months!!!)

And I decided to continue with school...16 credits...while he was gone. 

I feel like no further explanation is needed. 

BTW, I took some of the best classes, ever. 

More about that in a few days/weeks/months

And I kept pretty busy to deter any of the

 "I feel so depressed because the Mister isn't here"-blues. 

 

Because who wants that?? 

Not this girl. StarrsTown doesn't have time for that crap. Nope. 

But I am back, baby!!! 

  And I have big goals and plans for the blog.

Starting with this week's

TMI!!!!

I thought it was only fitting to embarrass myself instead of someone else.... 

Okay so, here it goes...

Holy Hannah...I can't believe I am going to tell you all this!

Recently I have been trying to grow my finger nails out and take care of them. 

No biting, tearing, cutting, ripping etc. etc. 

Lotion, cuticles, vitamins...all that stuff

Consequently I have longer nails than I have ever really had before... 

Which comes in handy for a lot of things 

(self performed scalp scratches after taking out a day-long ponytail being my favorite!)

But there is one serious disadvantage I wasn't anticipating...

Okay people, you know how humans all do things they don't like to admit they do?

All those bodily function stuff? 

(Gah! This is so embarrassing! I am sqirming and dying at the same time!)

So the other day...

I had something funky going on up in my nose. 

Like big time. 

And so, like I know you all do, I might have attempted a bit of a 

"Pick and Flick"

Catch my drift???

Well, the inside of my nose wasn't ready for the increase length of my nails and well....

My nose started spurting blood...

Biggggg time...

And I had to do this.......

Can we still be friends???

Um...TMI!!!

TMI Tuesday #30-Boys will be boys...

TMI Tuesday: SUBMIT-edition!

I love a good ol' submit...

Keep sending them!

This one comes from my sister across the pond, Annie 

She is mama to a 3 year old boy and 9month old twins, girl and boy

Love her!

I'll let her have the screen...

(get it? I said screen instead of floor? okay... no longer funny...)

 ..............................

Boys will be boys, even at three years old

My husband has tried to prepare me for the fact that my son is a boy and will do boyish things. As much as I try to encourage kind play, he is going to pretent to shoot, crush and kill. And as much as I try to be open and unembarrassed by body parts and bodily functions, my sweet innocent angel of a boy will do disgusting, boyish things.

At dinner yesterday my three-year-old boy was eating a banana. He peeled the banana then pulled off the stringy parts, stood up on his chair, spread his legs, hung the string down between his legs, shook his hips and the banana string back and forth and said:

son: "Look, my penis! Hahahaha!!!"

mother: (hiding laughter) "That's not your penis, son. That's part of the banana. Please sit down and finish your dinner."

son: (sitting down, then hanging the string off the side of the banana) "Look, a penis! Hahahaha!"

mother: (shaking with laughter but trying not to show) "Son, it's not a penis. It's the string from the banana. Please put it down and finish your dinner."

son: (still hanging the string from the banana and now shaking it slightly to illustrate the point) "The banana has a penis. This is the banana penis. Hahahaha!!!"

Yes husband of mine, I fully accept now that boys will be boys. And it starts now.

 

 

 

Um... TMI!!!

TMI Tuesday #29- Entering new waters...

While we were in Hawaii last week the following is the only picture of me

(besides entire family shots)

Nice, right? 

I've accepted the fact that since I am the mom my time has past for being the main subject of all photos. 

This photo brought my attention to something equally horrifying and inspiring. 

Have you caught it yet? 

Let's zoom in...

Still can't see it?

zoom again...

Since when have I had a fuzzy-wuzzy stache??!??!

I've always had basically invisible hair on my entire face 

because I am a mammal...

But that is some serious stache going on there....

I blame it on the mom hormones. 

I'm glad I finally noticed it. Sorry to any offended parties... 

 

Should I wax it? 

What the heck!

Entering new waters....

UM... TMI!!!

 

TMI Tuesday #28- Shoe-less, Sandals, and Sunscreen.

Yes, yes. I knooooow I missed last Tuesday.

But Guess What?

That’s life!!

Things were crazy two weeks ago with the Mister graduating, me wrapping up a wicked hard semester, family in town…

Oh and we were in Hawaii with my parents and one of my sisters and her family all last week  :)

I know, be jeal!

I was relaxing on the Big Island last Tuesday when I remembered I totally spaced TMI. 

Then the thought floated out of my mind 

and I went back to relaxing.

  I’m such a brat! 

But to make up for it, I have 3 stories to share.

There’s a theme.

The first:

Road tripping along the 15 a couple weeks ago, our family stopped for a potty break. As I was toting the Bird into the public restroom for a diaper change, a teeny-bopper came waltzing out. Her feet were making a weird slapping noise. Dazed and confused, I did the fastest double take of my life. 

She was not wearing socks.

She was not wearing shoes.

She was using a public toilet….

  

Barefoot. 

BARF!!!

The next:

Shortly after the gag-reflux episode of the barefooted-bathroom-bandit I was browsing some good ol’ FB newsfeed and stumbled across this little gem:

“Today I learned just how risky wearing sandals at a urinal can be. #aprilshowers”

Seriously? 

Laughing my face off.  

 So funny!!

And the Mister thinks I’m weird when I scroll the newsfeed. He has a point though. For every amazingly funny-split my side laughing-pee a little status… 

I have to read through dozens of things that are, well, really lame.

Sorry about it.

The last:

While at the beach in Hawaii (SpoiledBrat!) Sunshine announced he needed to go potty.

 

Before I could stop him 

He walked to the edge of the wet sand, 

Pulled his swim suit far enough to get the goods out 

And positioned to pee in the general direction of the ocean.  

All the while flashing his blindingly white bumbum to all other patrons of the beach. 

(Sunshine tans so dark it makes me super jealous! I slathered him repeatedly with 70SPF and he’s still a little brownie.)

I was giggling but also horrified. 

My family was crying with laughter. 

I don’t know what all the strangers thought; 

I was fiercely avoiding eye contact.

Um… TMI!!!

TMI Tuesday #27- "Professional"

This week: A submission!!!

From one of my many brothers....

For Michelle’s TMI Tuesday, to use how she would like...or not...if she would like.

It is completely up to her good judgment.  

Setting the stage...

We

 have all been in that place where we want to impress our peers.  I suppose that matriculating an MBA program is no different.  You go to class, and the desire is to speak and act professionally among professional people, so that you are esteemed by your colleagues and peers as well, professional.  

So, imagine if you will, sitting in the break room, where only MBA students are allowed, discussing the great companies of the day, and generally showing off mental acuity and prowess to one another. Beyond the tall glass windows, a dark cold, and cloudy day sees the billowing snowflakes bouncing off the glass outside.  Using this scene as a backdrop you will find a certain MBA candidate sitting comfortably in a soft chair.  

Me.  With pants on and fully intact.

Here is where the plot thickens.

I close my laptop, lean over to slide it into my backpack.  Grab my bag in my right hand, and reach for my jacket in my left, stand up, and turn to my left, take a step and rrrrrrrrrip.

My left pant foreleg has caught onto a small protruding, and yet amazingly strong thin carpentry nail.  A breeze of cool air flows up my leg.  My left hand, with coat still firmly in hand instinctively moves to cover up the 12 inch gash in my left pantleg.

Wow, I look professional right about now. 

You know, 

in front of all these 

professional

 MBA candidates.

But, I never let any of them see me sweat.  I calmly fold the coat over my left forearm, and discreetly drape my jacket covering all the required bits, and stroll out of the “MBA Only” lounge.  I swing my backpack up over my right shoulder, dive into my pocket to find my cell phone.  Casually, I flip open to call my wife, and in a few short minutes of standing outside, discreetly away from any passerby’s, she collects me from the curbside.

Umm

TMI....

If that were the end of the story, it would be enough, one might think.

But noooooooooo!

It’s not.

You see, two weeks ago, while sitting comfortably in my cubicle chair at work.

With pants on, fully intact.

I spun quickly to the right, and stood up.  This time, cargo pants.  This time, just as professional, rrrrrrrip.

Twelve inch gash in my left pant foreleg.  In all meaningful ways identical to the dreaded tear of ‘06.

Calmly, I stood up, walked directly towards the elevator, at a somewhat heightened pace.  Casually, I called my lovely wife, explained the repeat of the ghastly ‘professional’ mishap.  

Yes honey, again.

You can stop laughing now...

In a brief, and somewhat breezy wait outside, again, discretely away from any passerby’s, my wife came to the rescue, with a replacement set of pants.

As I cooly stroll back up to my desk, my boss noticing  the subtle change in my apparral asked,

Weren’t you wearing different pants?

Who me? Noooooo....

I AM after all, professional.

Umm

TMI