Guess what???
We’ve got a TMI-reader
submission!
Thanks to Emily for regaling
a juicy TMI from the WILD!
(…or from Winco…)
Here it goes:
“Okay. Here's my story.
You have to understand that sometimes I have a scatter brain;
sometimes I have the brain and wit of my mother and her mother. They say things
that are so embarrassing sometimes because they are so overly nice and friendly
and old. They like to engage friendly conversation with almost everybody they
come into contact with and sometimes it's just embarrassing because they say
goofy things because they are old.
Well...to my horror I think I am turning into my chatty Kathy
mother.
It happens to all of us, right?
Maybe not…
I usually go grocery
shopping alone with my 2 boys but since it was a few days before Thanksgiving my
husband came with us and it was nice to have him there at Winco with me, it
made shopping much easier.
Before I continue, I have to add that my boys have these
VERY cute furry wolf head/face hats. Everywhere we go, EVERYBODY, and I mean
every person that walks past us, says,
"Look at those hats!" or
"Oh my, they
look like little dogs! How cute!"
They are quite the attention grabbing hats, but they keep
them super warm so they always wear them.
Back to the story…
Checkout time came. We chose the line we wanted to be in. The
little boys are in the cart wearing their hats as usual, the 4 of us are
unloading groceries onto the conveyer belt, half way done, my husband says,
"I will go start bagging". This is all happening fairly quickly,
remember that. Okay, during this time I look at the cashier, who looked to be
middle aged, 50’s. These are the EXACT thoughts going through my head as I
glance at the cashier and proceed to unload our food, I am thinking,
"Whoa. Is this a man or a woman? Oh man. I can't tell.
Hmm. I think he is a she. I bet this guy used to be a girl. But he looks like a
woman. But wait, she has a man’s short haircut, and scruff on her face and
neck, maybe she is a he? But I think he has breasts, and...”
The cashier says, "Hello! How are you?" and I say
"Hello!"
And then my thoughts,
"WHOA, he sounds like a SHE! His voice!! So high! I
think he is a woman. Or used to be at least. Even though she has a man’s haircut,
and scruff, she sounds like a woman and her face is a woman's face. Hmm. I bet
this guy used to be a woman."
Those are my thoughts. Going about a million miles per
second, very scatterbrain like. So we quickly finish unloading our loaded cart
and my husband is at the end bagging the groceries. This is where I turn into
my mother and start chatting with the person because I want to be polite and
help brighten someone else's day. So I start friendly conversation while paying
for the food,
"Hello! How are you today? Happy holidays."
HE (the cashier, in the very high woman's voice) says,
"I'm great. Thank you! You as well. Getting your last minute thanksgiving
shopping done?"
And I say, "Oh yeah, you know. I'm cooking everything
this year, so we are just getting ready to go. What are you doing for thanksgiving?
Getting together with family?"
And he awkwardly says, "No, just low key, nothing
really."
And I felt sad/bad for him, so I wanted to be every more
friendly,
I say, "Well that's nice. I hope you have a nice
holiday."
okay, here is where
the mood changes and I still to this day feel absolutely embarrassed and
terrible and sorry for what I was about to do, unknowingly. So he (in the very
female voice, but he is clearly a man, even though I was having those previous
thoughts) changes the subject
And says, "Oooh! I love those hats!" (Remember the
boy’s hats?) "Those are just too funny!"
And then.................I say this exactly, in a loud,
friendly, cheerful, everyone around me can hear (remember, this person is a
man, but I had been thinking he might be a she), I say loud and cheerfully,
"BOYS! Did you hear what SHE said? SHE said SHE likes
your hats!"
RIGHT when I said that, my husband who is about 5-7 feet
away from me, looks up at me in the speed of light, with complete HORROR on his
face, he says SO FAST in a LOUD whisper, the cashier can hear,
"HONEY, YOU JUST CALLED HIM A SHE!"
And as fast as I could I walk forward with my cart and
immediately said as fast as I could,
"SHHH BE QUIET, SHHHH SSHUT UP I DONT KNOW WHY I SAID
THAT, BE QUIET...just finish loading and let’s go!"
We ran out of there, I wanted to cry I felt so bad that I
had said that and embarrassed that man in front of his friend and other
customers, I'm sure everyone around us was glaring in shock at what that woman
(me) just said. and at the same time, when we got to the car, my husband
started laughing, mine was more of a crying/laughing with tears in my eyes, we
couldn't believe I said that and I said as we were leaving,
"Oh sheesh. I am turning into my mother!!! Noooo!!"
And the other day I was back at Winco, checking out. I turn around and I could see aaall the
checkers in a line and somewhere in the middle I SAW HIM. But he was wearing a
women's shirt for his Winco work shirt. It was tight, with shorter sleeves, and
all the other male checkers wore the guy versions of their Winco work shirts...
and THEN I looked for bra lines on his back, nothing. No bra. But he still
looks like a woman completely.”
Emily!
I feel for you!
Nothing more puzzling than a gender
mystery!
And nothing more embarrassing than getting it WRONG.
And we’re all turning into our mothers.
Embrace it, girl!
Thanks for the submit
:) :)
